You be the judge: should my husband stop cutting his nails everywhere we go?

She says it's repulsive and unhygienic. He says he only does it to feel clean. You decide whose wings should be clipped

Find out how to get a disagreement settled or become a You be the judge juror

I can't stand it when he does it in public, or finding pieces of his nails all over the house

There are quite a few gross things that men do, but at my age you just learn to put up with them. My husband, Trevor, and I have been married for over 40 years, but one thing he's never stopped is his nail-cutting habit, which I still find repulsive.

Since I’ve known him, Trevor has always carried an all-in-one pocket knife and nail-clipper around in his trouser pocket, along with tissues or a hanky. He will whip out the clippers at any given opportunity to snip away at his nails. He sometimes even picks the dirt out from under them and wipes it on his handkerchief. I always chastise him for it because who wants to watch a man do that? He's learned not to do it in polite company, but I still have to put up with it.

I even recall him doing it as we sat outside a cafe many years ago. Our daughter was very little and we were just married. I gave him a right telling off. His clippings were flying all over the place. But every so often Trevor will surprise me and still do it openly.

This Christmas Day we had our daughter over with her children as usual. After dinner we were sitting down watching the telly. Our grandkids were playing with their new toys and I was dozing off. Then suddenly I hear this "snip … snip … snip". I know we were among family, but it was really quite repulsive. I said: "Don't do that! It's Christmas Day." Trevor said he would tidy up the clippings, except he never does.

I can't stand it when I clean the house and find all these bits of nail everywhere. Trevor worked as a gardener for years before he retired, and was always getting soil and dirt under his nails. That has fostered in him, I think, a desire to look and stay clean all the time. He still can't have a speck of dirt under his nails. And he is always clipping them, even if they are really quite short. I say, "There's nothing left to chop". He could afford to leave them alone for a bit longer. And he should make sure to clip them in the bathroom and not in front of me. I’ve really had enough.

If I see a speck of dirt under my nails I just have to clean it out. That's how I’ve been brought up

A man needs to make sure his hands are clean and his nails are short. I think it's quite unsightly when someone has dirt underneath their nails. I always think: well, they must have very poor personal hygiene.

I have always carried around a little pocket knife and nail clippers because that's how I’ve been brought up. When I was a boy, my mother taught me to keep neat and clean. She used to say: "Clean boy, clean mind. Dirty boy, dirty mind."

I worked outside as a landscaper and gardener for practically all of my career, dealing with soil, grass and fertiliser. It has made me obsessed with cleanliness, because sometimes I’d spend the whole day covered in mud. If I see a speck of dirt under my nails, I just have to clean it out.

Edwina and I have been married for 43 years. You learn to put up with people's habits after that long, I suppose. I’m grateful to her for not getting too annoyed with my nail-clipping and dirt-scraping, but I can't say I’m sorry for doing it. When we were courting, I probably hid it from her a little more, but then I suppose I got lazy. She's told me off so many times for doing it in public, but I only do that when I’m outside and the nails can sort of disappear. On a park bench or outside in a cafe – those sorts of places.

I have got better over the years and generally only do my nails when Edwina is not around, because she starts shrieking at the sight. In the shower is best, of course, but sometimes the moment just comes upon you. The Christmas episode was just because I had spotted some dirt under them at that very moment. Our daughter and her children have never said anything, only Edwina. If a man can't cut his nails in the privacy of his own home, where can he do them?

Edwina says I don't collect the cuttings, but I most definitely do. Sometimes it's quite hard to find them though. That's my excuse, anyway. I try to make sure I only clip and clean my nails when Edwina isn't around, but it's like a compulsion.

Should Trevor stop cutting his nails in front of his wife and in public?

This is a simple matter of respect for one's partner. After 43 years of being told off, the fact that Trevor continues to do it regardless sounds like downright laziness, which he openly admits. I respect the effort he puts into his cleanliness, but cutting your nails outside a cafe? Yikes!Carmen, 29

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Trevor, I think you can find a way to restrict your nail clipping to the bathroom. If it has upset your wife this much for this long, surely you can nip to the loo when you find a spot of dirt under your nails. Jennifer, 42

Trevor is driven by his compulsive need to keep his nails clean. Edwina is right to complain at his whimsical nail-cutting antics in public and around the house. Bathrooms exist for a reason: personal hygiene.Justin, 49

There is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to have good hygiene and clean nails, and Trevor clearly has a deep-rooted desire, bordering on a compulsion. Perhaps he should stick to doing it indoors and in privacy, but the act itself is not something he should be ashamed of. Damian, 42

Trevor is guilty – and I say that as a fellow nail-clipping obsessive. We need to respect the things that our partners find gross. I agree with him that it's unsightly to have dirt under your nails, but deal with it in the bathroom, like everyone else. Maddy, 30

In our online poll below, tell us: should Trevor stop clipping his nails around Edwina?

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