Classic Answer Man: Carolina Furniture Concepts jingle?

Note: This column originally was published Aug. 8, 2011.

On to this week's questions, my smart-aleck answers and the real deal.

Question: Who sings the song for Carolina Furniture Concepts? I can't get it out of my head.

My answer: Thanks. Now it's in my head. I feel a strange urge to sing and buy a recliner.

Real answer: Brenda Ball, marketing manager for Carolina Furniture Concepts, said the singer is Cathy Clooney, the cousin of movie star George Clooney.

The jingle, which is demonically catchy, in my opinion, came about nine years ago when Ball was working for ClearChannel, the Asheville radio group. ClearChannel had its own jingle department, and Ball sent them the lyrics she had written.

They used a studio in Las Vegas, where stars and near-stars sometimes stopped by to sing and make pocket change. Clooney stopped in and knocked it out of the park.

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"It was a pure fluke that she sang the lyrics I had sent to them," Ball said.

Ironically, Ball said when she played the jingle for the store's co-owners, neither liked it.

"I looked both of them in the eye and said, 'Let me tell you something — you're going to have to trust me on this because this jingle is going to make you rich," Ball said.

Owner Sandeep Gupta said the little ditty did become a major hit.

"It's been phenomenal," he said. "I get calls from people who say, 'We hate you guys because we can't get that jingle out of our heads.' They start singing it in the store — it's that hate and love relationship."

Question: Bele Chere would have been more enjoyable if there had been no street preaching. Am I the only person who finds their spews of judgment unacceptable and offensive? To whom may I address my angst over this offensive display of their freedom of speech?

My answer: The answer is painfully obvious: Address your angst next year by going to Bullhorns R Us and shelling out for the Megahornasaurus. Then spew your own vitriol for festivalgoers' entertainment.

Real answer: It's a conundrum year in and year out, said Diane Ruggiero, superintendent of cultural arts for Asheville, which puts on the festival. For the record, Ruggiero's department has been referring folks with complaints to the city's legal department. But I'm thinking you're not going to get real far with any complaints.

"They're limited if they're blocking pedestrian traffic, but other than that they're able to exercise their free speech," Ruggiero said. "A lot of people say, 'We don't mind free speech, but we do mind the amplification.' The city does have a noise ordinance, but because it's a festival and there's amplified sound in other areas, the use of speakers or bullhorns is not prohibited."

Speakers are not issued permits because it's a free, open festival and they're not required. Ruggiero said some groups travel the country, targeting such events because they know their free speech can't be infringed upon.

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Question: Aston Street at Biltmore is closed due to construction of a new hotel and parking garage. Why has the light at that intersection remained a red light instead of a warning light?

My answer: I suggest the city just turn off the traffic light and hire someone with a bullhorn to direct traffic.

Real answer: Asheville Transportation Director Ken Putnam said that intersection is actually governed by the N.C. Department of Transportation, but he could address the question. Putnam worked for the DOT for decades.

"The only way to get the pedestrian phases to work is to keep the light on its regular rotation," Putnam said. "With the equipment in place, there's nothing you can do about it without a major upgrade. Also, it's true that the road is essentially closed, but access is still allowed to the alley, and occasionally there are still cars that come in and out."

This is the opinion of John Boyle. Contact him at [email protected].